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Debunking Personal Success

motivational-1177436By: Dr. Gwen Smith

Everyone wants to have personal success in his or her own life. Success however, seems to be evasive for so many people. The challenge may not only be societal definitions of success but rather personal diffusion of energies in individuals as well.

Society’s view of personal success

Society, our schools and the social systems in general, have perpetrated universal, artificial standards of success which when embraced, create self-deprecating views as people look at others to measure up. The tyranny of this view is repulsive not only for its falsehoods but also for what it creates in others: A lack of appreciation for their individuality and greatness and the diffusion of their own personal power.

Personal success ought to mean different things for different people. It may look differently to a mom with six children than for a preacher over a large congregation. They don’t want the same things.

Success in one’s personal life ought to be defined by the individual. In a generic sense a gratifying definition of success is the achievement of one’s goals that one has set for his or her own life. Understanding this definition requires a deep knowing that success is not measured against someone else’s standards but rather one’s own.

Of course in a corporate setting people have goals and standards they’d like to see others fulfill on their assigned tasks, and that is fine. It’s up to individuals to align themselves with jobs that fulfill their individualities. Knowing that this may not be as easy, forces other options such as creating opportunities for oneself as a way to fulfill one’s own personal success. It doesn’t also mean that standards will not be set by parents training their children; and even within those circumstances, opportunities should exist for uniqueness to be expressed.

No longer should the thought of creating a melting pot be embraced as this obliterates all flavors of individuality creating uniformity instead of distinctiveness. Instead embrace inimitability and consequently, set standards of individual success using one’s own heart work and inner compass as a guide.

Operating from this premise generates motivation in fulfilling your goals that you’ve established for yourself and affirms your personality, thereby clarifying your successes as you achieve what you’ve set for yourself. This completely de-bunks the definition of success as measured against society’s claims and you own your personal power as you align with your Divine gifts. You no longer see the need to clamor for things your spirit doesn’t align with in order to just to measure up and feel personally fulfilled.  

Your personal diffusion of you own success

On a personal level once you’ve defined your goals, and find them to be personally empowering and motivating, why don’t you fulfill on them each time? What may be stopping you from success is diffused energy due to lack of focus and clarity around your goals.

Focus is a critical process in achieving what you really want. There are other areas of course and clarity and focus are keys in helping you to meet with success.

Often you dissipate your forces and energies by having many “priorities” that you are dealing with simultaneously. This only slows the process, complicates the clarity around what you are working to achieve and creates indecision and confusion in your mind.  Sometimes multiple priorities are necessary; however, if you are not able to delegate, your efficiency at getting to success is compromised when you try to achieve them simultaneously.

What are some of the things that you currently have that you are working on? Do you find yourself going them over day by day in your mind, without being able to focus and prioritize? If so, make a list, prioritize them in the order of what’s important to you, and then tackle the items in that order. Avoid the temptation of jumping around to the next idea that pops into your mind.

List-making has been proposed for quite  long time now, and if you were to seriously take on making the list, not only will you realize how freeing it is to your mind, but also it is very rewarding or telling. It tells the story of your productivity. It’s a great accountability tool and you can actually see and appreciate what you’ve actually accomplished or make plans to change what you’ve not.

For ideas that pop up and throw you off focus, record your items in a loose leaf notebook that you can re-organize by topics. If the pages are removable, you won’t need to keep up with flipping through several pages before finding notes on a topic. You can remove the pages and re-group the similar topics together for easily locating your ideas.

Another item to help with focus is your voice recorder on your cell phone. You can download an app and use it to make quick recordings that you later transfer to your notebook.

Remember, multi-tasking is not an activity your working memory loves to do. Your brain can only focus on one activity at a time. Avoid multi-tasking, and if you have to do it, be sure that one of the activities is already automated so you can free up the working memory in your brain to focus. Otherwise, you’ll get further ahead by tackling one thing at a time.


So, if you’re not finding success in your personal life you may need to redefine what success is for YOU and bring clarity and focus to the tasks tackling which will result in your personal success.

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