By: Dr. Gwen Smith
I want to leave you a brief yet powerful insight about ego. I recently had a discussion on the topic with an associate and wanted to share with you some of those insights I shared with him. I find ego to be an intrusion on who I really am at my core. In this sense, in talking about ego, I am talking about the perception one has of herself. The dictionary appropriately defines ego as “An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit”
I’d like us to cue in to this: Ego is the view of who you think you are; it is the pretended you. It thwarts your personal sense of self at the core of who you are and produces a less effective you. There is no peace, happiness, and sense of being complete with who you are in this state. There exists constant thriving to change who you are, how you respond and what you say to prove yourself to others.
With ego, you make a purposeful choice to become someone other than yourself for the sole purpose of wanting to be perceived as lofty or better than you think of yourself. Having a low self-esteem or self-worth causes some to choose to operate from ego. You seek, in this instance validation that you are important and so you take on an exaggerated and conscious way of being, which is quite unattractive to your audience. You in a constant state of self-awareness, continuously thinking of how other’s are perceiving you. You stay perpetually in your head, always working to figure out what will be just the right thing to say or do to keep you looking good. The irony is that while you believe that others are viewing you as important, you are not aware that you are actually detracting from your natural magnetism and likeability. You are also diminishing your ability to influence your circumstance and that of those around you.
What you fail to realize, is that even if you are a complete jerk and you are completely and authentically you, without the show, people, even in that state, can find you attractive, eventually coming to embrace who you are. This is never possible when ego is in place.
When ego is present, it actually kills every good thing you are striving for, and it also kills your personal power.
Keep this in mind the next time you truly want to make a difference.
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