By: Dr.Gwen Smith 

We have a way of projecting our present and past memories or experiences onto our future life. We make decisions about ourselves, our actions, and who we are based on these experiences. If these were the happy great memories from the experiences we had, that would be fantastic. We would set out and achieve anything we want. However, the reality is that very often it is the negative experiences and memories that we project out into our future which color the way we see life and affect our belief in ourselves to tackle and succeed at goals we set in our lives. Just from words spoken to us, either as children or repeatedly over the years from those that are significant to us in our lives, we create ideas of who we think we are and of set up limited capacities to achieve what’s possible. Sometimes the intent of those words and actions were never intended to be received the way they were, and with that comes the stories about what we made it mean.

By projecting the experiences from past into our future, we create anxiety for ourselves and setbacks which require a different perspective to propel us forward to where we desire to go. Why would the experiences cause this to happen? It is not so much the experiences as it is the stories that we create around those experiences. It is what we make these stories mean: sad meanings; dis-empowering meanings; crippling, negative meanings and consequently, setbacks. We place a lid on ourselves and what we can achieve. So how do we overcome this?

It can be quite simple: First, identify the facts of what did occur or what was said and separate what you made it mean. If it was not directly communicated to you what the intent was of what was being said and done, then you have made a story about it. There is such power and freedom in this discovery, and once discovered, releasing it back to the past where it belongs. Of course some of these are in your blind spot as well, and you will definitely need someone outside of you to make it clear; and there is a powerful way to have this discovery and to live your life from a position of freedom and power and peace of mind. If you would like to learn more about how to confront your past and how to put the past back in the past, send us an email at


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