By: Dr. Gwen Smith
As I travel to different places and meet different people, I find a general sense of unhappiness with more than just a few. I don’t consider myself the savior of the world; however I carry more than just a passing desire in my heart to want to see more people happy.
I feel that my happiness is now an ever present reality each and every day, and I can clearly remember when it wasn’t that way.
What made the difference for me was a conscious, daily effort to take on some rituals that are now near automatic for me. Life is really great!
Yet, in the midst of all of this, it would be highly inaccurate for me to say that I have all my goals met. That would be a downright lie!
I keep creating new goals and desires to aspire towards, so I know my life is never going to be goal-free. And what that presents is more excitement for me.
It’s the fact of knowing that a destination isn’t going to bring me the happiness I desire. I’ve been there before: achieving everything my heart desired. And what I felt instead of bliss was void.
So, being cognizant that the journey is the joy, or the joy is in the journey, I can relax and enjoy each step of it and looking forward with excitement to what is next.
If your life is not happy and blissful, don’t hate me for it. I really have had others say they don’t trust people who smile a lot. That was an eye-opener for me, and in retrospect, is no doubt one of the reasons for being unhappy too.
Below I share my recent Facebook Live video about how I feel this has developed for me over the years. Trust me when I say to you that my first line of thought was always negative.
So if I have transformed, then you know there’s a ton of hope for you!
If you’re one of those folks who feel that it’s impossible to be happy all the time. I do invite you to think again. Hey, even in the midst of sadness, pain, hurt and disappointment, there can be an underlying feeling of happiness and joy. I know it. I’ve been there too.
I sat down recently to write down why I feel my life is so happy. I’m certain that a part of it has to do with the daily blessings of having my needs met. But that’s not all.
Here are 11 thoughts and practices that I came up with that I’m quite certain affect my happiness.
Watch the video here to hear how to deal with each of the items I’ve listed below:
11 Reasons Why You May Not Be Happy:
- You haven’t really identified what that is for you for you—you may be living a life from someone else’s view of success
- We all do not want the same things, nor do the same things make us all happy
- What are the things that are important to you. Sit down in a quiet place and reflect on what they are. This isn’t a mental exercise; it’s a heart-based exercise. There are five general areas: Finances, Relationships, Spirituality, Emotional States and Health
- Once you know these things, make them the focus and center of your life and say NO to everything else
- You’re focusing too much on the negative things that have already showed up. You may not realize that the way you are thinking and feeling creates what you get in the future—As a man thinketh so is he; You become what you think about all day long; Your thoughts create your reality. Change your thoughts, change your life. Speak positive things instead of negative about your circumstance and self. Get to the place where you know that every single thing that has happened in your life is for your eventual good and nothing less.
- Quit giving momentum to the things that are already showing up, unless they are things that invoke happiness. They’re already history, they’ve been created.
- What do you focus on? Ask for and focus on the things you want to create, not from a place of lack, but from a place of knowing you already have it; even if it hasn’t yet showed up. Believe, or have faith that you will have it. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”, “Whatever you ask for, believe that you will have it and you will”
- You haven’t learned that the joy is in the journey. You feel there is some place to get to. There is never a place to get to. You’ll always be creating more desires, no matter what. If it’s not money, it will be relationships, or fun or recognition. Life is all about creating.
- You’re out of rapport with yourself—not being true to the areas that matter, not living in integrity with yourself and others; There is nothing that convicts you more than your own internal judge. What may you be hiding from? What may you be doing to yourself or to others that are less than ethical? Who are you angry with? Who do you carry feelings of jealousy for?
- Come to grips with it all and get rid of them.
- Be patient with yourself knowing that there are four stages to get to competence:
- Unconscious Incompetence-Don’t know that you don’t know
- Conscious Incompetence-You know that you don’t know
- Conscious Competence-Practicing and leaning
- Unconscious Competence-Automated
If you feel that you need to discover what may be sabotaging your ability to be happy and fulfilled, schedule a Complimentary Coaching Session with Dr. Gwen and leave the session knowing what to do to begin transforming your life: thedrgwen.com/getresultscoaching
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